Вечер юмора на английском языке "British Humour? Do you get it?"

Разделы: Иностранные языки, Внеклассная работа


Цели:

  • развивать познавательную активность учащихся;
  • пополнять лексический запас;
  • развивать интеллектуальные и языковые способности;
  • развивать актерские качества у детей;
  • повышать интерес к изучению английского языка;

Оборудование:

  • декорации
  • костюмы,
  • музыкальное сопровождение.

Организаторы: учителя английского языка:

  • Юферева Нина Николаевна,
  • Сергеева Татьяна Альбертовна

Участники: ученики 8-х классов.

BRITISH HUMOUR? DO YOU GET IT?

1-й ведущий: It is common to hear foreigners use the phrase: typical British sense of humour, but what exactly does that mean? Foreigners don’t understand British jokes. This statement does reflect some differences in what people in different countries and cultures find funny.

2-й ведущий: British people use understatements almost all the time. Perhaps it is connected to the terrible climate in Britain. The statements like “It’s a bit cold, isn’t it? or “I’m just a bit tired” are used when it is terribly cold or you are absolutely exhausted.

1-й ведущий: Understatement is closely connected to a more general term: irony. Quite often foreigners have to spend some time getting used to British people being constantly ironic. The statements “Lovely weather we’re having at the moments” or “Turned out nice again, didn’t it?” are used when it is raining heavily and you leave the house without a coat or umbrella.

2-й ведущий: It is well known that British people do not like showing their feelings and emotions, so they often turn to irony to conceal what they really feel.

1-й ведущий: We have prepared some examples of British irony that known as Murphy’s laws. Let’s listen to them. (Ведущие передают микрофоны учащимся в зале.)

Pupil 1: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Pupil 2: The bus that left the stop just before you got there is your bus.

Pupil 3: If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Pupil 4: Food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.

Pupil 5: The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.

Pupil 6: Children have more energy after a hard day of play than they do after a good night’s sleep.

Pupil 7: No matter which way you ride your bicycle it’s uphill and against the wind.

Pupil 8: The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Pupil 9: Before you find your handsome prince you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.

2- ведущий: One of the most famous British humorists is Stephan Leacock and today we are going to introduce his short play to you.

“AT THE PHOTOGRAPHER” (A photographer’s studio. A man enters.)

Man. Hm, hm! Is anybody here?

Photographer. (Comes in from the back room). How do you do, sir? What can I do for you?

Man. How do you do? I want my photograph taken.

Photographer. Sit there, please, and wait. (Goes away.)

(The man sits and begins to look through the magazines. At last the photographer comes in.)

Photographer. Come here, please. Put your chair here, please. Now sit down, please. (He goes away, then comes back rolling a big machine-like camera into the room. Then he switches on the light and looks at the man.) Your face isn’t so good.

Man. Yes, I know it isn’t.

Photographer. Turn your face to the right, please. (The man does so.) No, No, allow me, please. (He begins to adjust the man’s face and then goes back to the camera.) Open your mouth a little. (A man opens his mouth.) Thank you. Now, please, look to the right. Thank you. Now put your hands on the knees and raise your chin a little. That’s better. Thank you. Hm! The ears are bad. I must pull them down. (Pulls the ears down.)

Man (angrily). Well, stop that, please! This face is MY face. I have lived with it for many years, and I don’t want to change it. If your camera is too small for my ears, I’ll go to another photographer!

Photographer. Just a moment! Thank you. The photo is ready! Please, come back in three days.

(Three days later. The man comes back to the studio.)

Man. Good afternoon! May I see my photo, please? Is my photo ready?

Photographer. Good afternoon! Oh, yes, sir.

(He goes out and brings a large photograph. They both look at it in silence.)

Man. Is that ME?

Photographer. Yes, of course, that’s you. (They go on looking at it.)

Man. These eyes are not my eyes.

Photographer. But they are fine.

Man. And the eyebrows. MY eyebrows are not so sick, and not so black.

Photographer. But everybody likes eyebrows like these.

Man. Is that MY mouth?

Photographer. Oh, but your mouth is too low. But on the photo your mouth is in its right place.

Man. The ears look like mine. Just like mine.

Photographer. (Thinks a little.) Yes, that’s so; but if you wish, I can do them all right. And besides, we can rub them out of the photo, if you like.

Man. (Holding the photo in both hands.) Listen! I come here to have my photo taken. I want to see MY face, my own face. It isn’t very handsome, but I want to have my face, do you hear? MY face! And now – (tears the photo up, throws it on the floor and tramples on it.). That’s the end of that. And you can keep the negative for you and your friends. Good-bye!

(The photographer stands still for a moment. Then he gets down on his knees and picks up the pieces of the photo.)

Photographer. (sighs) Such a fine photo! People don’t know what a real art is!

1-й ведущий: Now we are going to show you some funny sketches. We are sure that you will get them and you will have great fun.

2-й ведущий: The travel agency

Clerk: Honest Harry’s Happy Holidays! Can I help you? Oh, is that you, sir? This is Perking speaking. The holidays in Brighton? Well, I have sold very many. I’m doing my best, but people aren’t interested in Brighton these days.

My job? Yes, I do love my job, sir, yes, sir, I do want to keep my job. Yes, sir. All right, I’ll sell some holidays in Brighton. Yes, sir, yes, sir. Good bye. Oh, dear!

Man: Go on, Brenda.

Woman: Excuse me, is that a travel agency?

Clerk: No, madam, it’s a fish and chicken shop.

Woman; Oh, sorry, come on, Martin.

Clerk: Oh, no, no, no. This is the travel agency. Just a little joke.

Woman: Oh.

Clerk: Welcome to Honest Harry’s Happy Holidays. Do, sit down.

Woman: Thank you.

Man: Thank you.

Clerk: What can I do for you?

Woman: We’d like some information about holidays.

Clerk: Oh, good.

Woman: We’d like to go somewhere interesting.

Clerk: Somewhere interesting? Have you been to Brighton?

Man: Brighton? No, we haven’t.

Clerk: Really?

Woman: And we do not either.

Clerk: Why not?

Woman: Well, it is not exciting. We want to go somewhere exciting.

Clerk: I see. How about Sahara desert?

Woman: Sahara desert?

Clerk: Yes, have you ever been there?

Man; No, we haven’t.

Clerk: Well, this is the holidays for you. 45 days in the middle of the Sahara desert.

Woman: In the middle of the Sahara desert? Is there anything to do?

Clerk: Oh, yes. There is plenty to do. Have you ever been in a sand storm?

Man: Sand storm? No, we haven’t.

Clerk: Oh, well. It is very exciting. There are sand storms nearly every day. A lot of dangerous snakes.

Have you ever been bitten by dangerous snakes?

Man and woman: NO!

Clerk: But it is very exciting.

Woman: No, I don’t think we’d like it.

Clerk: Sand storms, dangerous snakes and on the last day a stampede of camels.

Man: A stampede of camels? What is that?

Clerk: Haven’t you seen the stampede of camels?

M and W: NO!

Clerk: Oh, It’s very exciting! You stand in the middle of 300 camels and someone fire the gun in the air. Bang! And all the camels get run rather wild.

Woman: We must stand in the middle………

Clerk: Yes. Have you ever seen the frightened camels?

Woman: No, is it exciting?

Clerk: Exciting? It’s terrifying!

Man: Isn’t it dangerous?

Clerk: Of course, it’s dangerous. But that makes you exciting.

Man: How much is it?

Clerk: 800 pounds.

M. and W.: 800 pounds?

Clerk: And 40 pounds extra for stampede camels.

Woman: That’s very expensive!

Clerk: Oh, I see. You want something cheaper? How about the Arctic ocean? Have you ever been to the Arctic?

Man: No, we haven’t.

Clerk: Well, we can give you three weeks in a small boat in the Arctic ocean. Each boat has a small hole in the bottom.

Woman: Oh, a hole in the bottom?

Clerk: And you have enough food for 10 days.

Woman: 10 days!

Clerk: That’s right.

Man: But the holiday is for 3 weeks!

Clerk: But it is most exciting and it is only 600 pounds.

Man: Have you got anything a little bit cheaper?

Clerk: Cheaper? Well, I don’t know. Let me see. Oh, this is a holiday to remember .The Amazon jungle! Have you ever been to Amazon jungle?

Man: No, we haven’t.

Clerk; Well, this may be the holiday for you. We drop you into the middle of the Amazon jungle by parachute.

Man: By parachute?

Clerk: Yes, we drop you into the middle of the Amazon jungle with a map.

Woman: Well, at least we have a map.

Clerk: With a map of London underground.

Woman: Oh, I don’t think we’d like that. It’s very dangerous.

Clerk: Yes, but it’s very exciting. This is the 21 century. People want exciting holidays. You said you wanted an exciting holiday.

Man: But all your holidays are very dangerous, expensive and too far away from home.

Clerk: Oh, I see. Now you want something near the home.

Man: Yes.

Clerk: What about two weeks in Brighton.

Woman: No, thanks.

Man: Just a minute. Did you say Brighton?

Clerk: Yes. Two weeks in Brighton. Staying in a nice, quiet hotel by the sea.

Woman: Well, yes.

Man: Yes, that sounds wonderful.

Clerk: It’s not very expensive. No camels, no snakes, no sand storms, You can call your relatives.

Woman: That’s very nice.

Man: How much is it?

Clerk: 50 pounds each.

Could you sign this form for reservation? Just here and here. Thank you.

M. and W.: Thank you. Good bye!

Clerk: Good bye! I hope you’ll enjoy your holiday.

(Telephone rings.) Honest Harry’s Happy Holidays. Can I help you?

1-й ведущий: The superlative vacuum cleaner. (Doorbell.)

Woman: Yes, I’m coming. Good morning.

Man: Good morning, young lady. Is your mother home?

Woman: My mother? I’m the mother in this house. What do you want?

Man: Dust, madam.

Woman: Dust?

Man: Yes, madam, dust.

Woman: I haven’t got any dust.

Man: Oh, yes, you have. (Сlean the carpet.)Oh, lovely carpet.

Woman: (sneezes) I’ve just cleaned this carpet.

Man: Don’t worry, madam. I have the answers to all your problems here. (Points to the vacuum cleaner.)

The superlative vacuum cleaner.

Woman: The superlative vacuum cleaner? Why is it called superlative?

Man: Because, madam, everything about it is superlative. It’s the quickest, the cleanest, the cheapest, the smallest, the smartest, the most economical, the most effective, the most beautiful, the most revolutionary vacuum cleaner in the world and it costs 65&.

Woman: You try to sell me the vacuum cleaner, don’t you?

Man: Yes, madam.

Woman: Well, go on then.

Man: I’ve finished, madam.

Woman: Finished? You haven’t said very much. Are you a good vacuum cleaner salesman in your company?

Man: Not very good one, I’m afraid.

Woman: Oh, I can see that.

Man: No, I’m a very bad vacuum cleaner salesman. In fact I’m the worst salesman in our company.

Woman: The worst?

Man: The worst. I sometimes think I’m the worst v. c s. in the world.

Woman: Oh, dear. Do you like your job?

Man: Like my job? No, madam, I hate my job. It’s the most boring job in the world. Every day is the same: “Good morning, young lady, is your mother home? The superlative vacuum cleaner: the quickest, the cleanest, the cheapest, the smallest, the smartest, the most economical, the most effective, the most beautiful, the revolutionary vacuum cleaner in the world.”

Woman: Is it the quickest?

Man: No, it’s probably the slowest.

Woman: Is it the cleanest?

Man: Cleanest? Don’t make me laugh. I think it’s the dirtiest v. c. in the market and certainly it is not the cheapest either.

Woman: No, No, No, it is not good at all.

Man: Pardon?

Woman: Look! Do you want to sell this v. c.?

Man: I suppose so.

Woman: Your sale technique is wrong.

Man: Is it?

Woman: Yes. I could sell the v. c. better than you.

Man: Oh, no, you couldn’t.

Woman: Yes, I could. I’ll show you. You’ll come into the house and I’ll ring the bell and sell the v. c. to you.

Man: To me?

Woman: Yes.

Man: O’K. But it is not easier than you think.

Woman: We’ll see. Go inside and shut the door.

Man: All right.

(She goes out and rings the doorbell.)

Man: Not today, thank you. (Doorbell.) Yes?

Woman: Hello! (Comes in.) What a beautiful house you have got!

Man: Oh, do you like it?

Woman: Like it? It’s the most beautiful house I have seen for a long time!

Man: Thank you very much.

Woman: What a colourful carpet!

Man: Yes, it’s lovely, isn’t it?

Woman: It’s the most colourful carpet I’ve seen for ages. I should think it’s very expensive.

Man: The most expensive you can buy in the shop!

Woman: And I suppose you have got a very good v. c. to look after it?

Man: Vacuum cleaner? No, I haven’t.

Woman: You haven’t got a v. c.!

Man: No.

Woman: Well, madam, this is your lucky day! Because I have the best v. c. that money you can buy for. The superlative v. c.

Man: Is it really good?

Woman: Good? Good? It’s er..er..the…

Man: (prompts) quickest

Woman: The quickest, the er..

Man: The cleanest.

Woman: The cleanest, the cheapest, the smallest, the smartest, the most economical, the most effective, the most beautiful, the most revolutionary v. c. in the world!

Man: Oh, how much is it?

Woman: Just 65& to you, madam.

Man: Good! I’ll buy it. (Where is the money?)

Woman: (It’s in my hand bag on the kitchen table.)

Man: All right, I’ll go and get some money.

Woman: Good idea, madam, you have made a right decision.

Man: Do you know that you are a fantastic saleswoman!

Woman: Oh, really?

Man: And you have a fantastic sale technique!

Woman: Do you think so?

Man: Yes, you have got the best sale technique I’ve seen for all day.

Woman: Thank you.

Man: Thank YOU, madam. Good bye!

(counts the money) 20, 30, 40,50, 65! Now, THAT’S the way to sell the vacuum cleaner!

2-й ведущий: Superman and librarian at the doctor.

Doctor: Who is that, Angela?

Angela: There is the man, doctor. His name is Wilkings. He says he can’t talk quietly, he can only shout.

Man: (shout) May I come in?

Doctor: yes, I see. Ask him to come in.

Angela: Come in, please, Mr. Wilkings.

Mr.W. Thank you. Hello, doctor. Sorry, I trouble you.

Doctor: That’s all right, Mr. Wilkings. Do sit down. What seems to be the trouble?

Mr. W.: Oh, well, doctor. I can’t talk quietly, I can only shout.

Doctor: How long have you been like that?

Mr.W.: Well, for a week.

Doctor: Don’t worry. I think you have very loud and nice shouting voice.

Mr. W.: But I can’t go on like this. I’ll lose my job.

Doctor: What is your job?

Mr. W. I am a librarian. I’m working at the library. I can’t shout at work, you know.

Doctor: You know Mr.W. in that case, I think you should change your job.

Mr.W. What can I do?

Doctor: You can get a job as an English teacher.

Mr. W. An English teacher?

Doctor. Yes. They shout all the time.

Mr.W. All right, doctor .I’ll do that

Doctor. Good-bye, Mr. W

Mr.W. Good bye

Angela: Good-bye, Mr.W. Is Mr. W. all right, doctor? He is going to be an English teacher, isn’t he?

Doctor. Yes. Who is next, Angela?

Angela: Superman.

Doctor: Superman?

Angela: Yes.

Doctor: Oh I see. It’s someone who thinks he is a superman?

Angela: No, doctor. He is really a superman.

Doc.: What? Is he a man who flies in the air?

Angela: Yes.

Doctor: Oh, ask him to come in.

Angela: Yes, doctor. Come this way, please.

Superman: All right. Thank you.

Doctor: Thank you, Angela. Good morning, Mr…….

Superman: Superman.

Doctor: Yes, superman. Do sit down.

Superman: Thank you.

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

Superman: Well, doctor. I’m a superman. People think I can do everything, but I can’t do anything any more.

Doctor: What can’t you do?

Superman: I can’t climb building, I can’t lift car and I can’t fly.

Doctor: Well, don’t worry, a lot of people have these problems.

Superman: But you don’t understand. I’m a superman. If you can’t fly you can’t be a superman. It’s in the contract.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Superman: In the old days when people called for a superman I could run into the telephone box, take off my boring dress and I became a superman only in ten seconds. Yesterday when I went to the telephone box it took me 15 minutes just to take off my trousers and when I came out I couldn’t remember where I was going.

(Doctor is snoring.) What is that? Er…

Doctor (wakes up) What? Pardon?

Superman: What do you think?

Doctor: I think you should change your job.

Superman: And what can I do?

Doctor: Well, you have got a very nice face. You could be a pop singer.

Superman: A pop singer?

Doctor: Yes. Can you sing?

Superman: No, I can’t.

Doctor: Can you dance?

Superman: No.

Doctor: Can you play the guitar?

Superman: No.

Doctor: So, you can’t sing, you can’t dance and you can’t play the guitar.

Superman: That’s right.

Doctor: Yes, you will be an excellent pop singer.

Superman: What?

Doctor: Yes, I can see it. Your name will be in lights. You’ll be famous.

Superman: But I am famous! I’m a superman!

Doctor: Not any more. From today you are Rocky Superdiesel!

Superman: Do you think it’s a good idea?

Doctor: Yes, of cause, Rocky.

Angela: Doctor!

Doctor: Yes, Angela.

Angela: Mr. Wilkings is back again.

Mr. W.: Yes. I have changed my mind. I don’t want to be an English teacher. What can I do?

Doctor: Don’t worry, Mr Wilkings, I’ve got another job for you. You can work with Rocky Superdiesel here!

Superman: How do you do?

Mr. W.: Rocky Superdiesel?! That’s not Rocky Superdiesel. It’s a Superman. I saw him in the telephone box yesterday. Superman! Ha! It took him 15 minutes just to take off his trousers!

Doctor: Well. He was a superman, but he is not a Superman any more. I think you can work together.

Later. People are shouting.

Mr. Wilkings: Ladies and gentlemen! Let me represent a new song of Rocky Superdiesel! The best singer of the UK!

При подготовке были использованы следующие материалы:

  1. Федорова Г.Н. “Тематические вечера на английском языке.”
  2. Журнал “Speak out.”
  3. Материалы зарубежных изданий: магнитофонная запись скетчей “Stage off”.